I'm sad. I hoping this will help me vent. Or It'll make me feel worse, we'll see.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
yes, it was silly.

If you could spend more time with someone you used to be very close with, who?
</3
  
Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
if only.
    
What are you doing tonight?
nothing. like always.
  
Do you have any plans for the weekend?
never.
  
How are you right now?
angsty, clearly.
  
What are you tired of?
being by myself :/ i'm not cut out for this.
  
Is there something right now that has you worried?
lol, mmm just the track of my life.
 

When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
probably like two years ago.

Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now?
HA.
 
Are you a mean person?
i'm too nice for my own good.

Is there anything you want to get tattooed on you?
now, please.
   
Was Halloween good for you last year?
Only if you count being dead as good -__-
  
Reason for the last tear shed?
gr, welp if you could see my face right now...just sad.

If you could go back in time how far back would you go?
junior year.
  
Do you tell people you're okay when you're really not?
clearly i throw my feelings everywhere, lol.
  
Do you believe "drunken words are sober thoughts"?
most of the time i like to think so. especially tonight.
 
What are you excited about?
leakycon 2012.
   
Do you hold grudges or do you forgive and forget?
I hold grudges. for a long time.
  

Is this year the best year of your life?
not at all.

How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
emily.

Do you have a box where you keep all your important things?
I do.

How many times have you dyed your hair?
about 5? 6 tomorrow.
    
A book ever made you cry?
lol, do you know me?

Your phone rings, what do you say?
thank you for calling payless, how can i help you -___-
  
What is your biggest fear?
not getting married/not be able to have babies

nope, just made me feel worse.

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF POTTER.

These past couple of weeks have been quite amazing for me, which means that naturually they were consumed by everything to do with Harry Potter.

Seeing Matt (The Womping Willows), Lauren and JFF play in Old Bridge was the beginning of my HP journey. I got there a little late since the weather was absolutley horrible but I only missed a little of JFF's set and I was okay with that haha. There was this girl though, so annoying, kept trying to get me and everyone else to dance...like by dancing on them? Lol it was awkward. After JFF Lauren played and she sang a ton of her new songs off "The Prince's Tale" and they were so amazing, definitely her best. Then Womp (lol Matt) played and he was awesome of course. After the show I bought some merch including Lauren's album, her new shirt that says "my muggle friends just don't understand" which couldn't be more accurate, Matt's wizard party forever and JFF's deathly hallows shirt because I felt bad ha.

Two days later me and the fam headed to Orlando for Disney...and LEAKYCON. While driving in Virginia I actually saw Matt and Lauren driving on the road and made my dad honk at them so I could wave haha, and they also tweeted about it! When we finally got to Orlando the rents really didn't feel like doing so me and Heath decided to go Universal for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. We did all the rides of course, had some butterbeer (which I actually loveeeed this time) and bought some souvenirs. I bought a Gryffindor sweather (YEAH!), Heather bought a dragon which we named Cho Chang and we each bought Pygmy Puffs (mine is Krum and hers is Grawp I believe), chocolate frogs (bought got Gryffindor) and cauldron cakes.

After doing Disney for a couple of days it was time for CHUNNUNNUNNUN...LEAKYCON. I had day passes for Thursday and Friday. As soon as I got there on Thursday I registered and then picked up my ticket for Deathly Hallows part 2 as I would be seeing an advance screening of it at 6:15 later that day. In the meantime I walked around the conference area, popped into the merch room and watched a live LeakyMug. And then, the movie. From the hotel we walked to the AMC theaters in Citywalk, which must have looked hysterical to the average muggle as we were all decked out in our robes and sweaters and carrying wands, grabbed our seats and 3D glasses and prepared ourselves for what was about to come.

As soon as the previews rolled I started crying. I loved it, I honestly think they ended it amazingly. The (kind of) opening scene after you see Voldemort get the Elder Wand with Snape looking over the grouds of Hogwarts oh my god, oh my god, like I really can't say anything else. I love that scene and then you see how much Hogwarts has changed and it's literally so heartbreaking. Helena Bonham Carter as Hermoine was flawless. The scene in Gringotts...ohh buddy, especially in 3D sooo crazy. Oh, but when Rupert and Dan both have the shirts off at the same time..yes. One of my favorite seens was when Neville brought the Trio back to Hogwarts, it was just nice seeing everyone again, Dean, Seamus, Luna, Cho, lol I missed them the last film. And then the craziness starts, Harry speaks to the Grey Lady while Ron and Hermione go into the Chamber of Secrets. Loved the kiss, finallllllly. I just wish Rupert didn't block it so much...rofl. The scene with the fiendfyre was absolutely terrifying, it was so well done. When Harry, Ron and Hermione run down to the boat house and only music is playing ugh it seriously makes me so emotional, I listen to the preview on iTunes all the time. Go. Now. It's "Courtyard Apocalypse". And now to Snape. I love him. I just fucking love him, especially after listening to Lauren Fairweather's "The Prince's Tale". His death really got to me. Oh yeah and by this point the whole theater was literally hyperventilating. No, but really and with only a wool sweater to wipe your nose on.. And then Snape's memories, forget it. It was just too much to handle. HE JUST LOVED HER that's all :((( It really made me mad though how people who haven't read the books (yeah I know, I can't believe it either) thought that it was implying that Snape was actually Harry's dad. Really? Like, Reeeeallly? Ugh, even a woman who came into Payless asked me about it. Don't worry,  I set her straight. Ooof and when Harry is about to die and his parents and Sirius and Lupin join him :( "You'll stay with me?" "Until the end" :( UNTIL THE VERY END HARRY, I PROMISE. And then when Harry is in the "in-between" with Dumbledore and Dumbledore says "Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" makes me burst into tears because that's how I feel about Harry Potter. It is real. Neville's a hero, Harry kills Voldemort. Victory. A lot of people had issues with the epilouge in the book and I loved it, I loved it in the book and the movie. It was crazy to see them old, which also made me super emotional. It's just nice to know that everything's okay.

Even after I left and walked back to the hotel I was in tears (walking behind Jason Munday and Aaron Nordyke may I add!) This was my life, Harry wasn't over and will never be over but now a chapter of it is. No more midnight premiers to go to, no more movie spoilers to look out for, no more epic soundtracks to hear for the first time and no more seeing that WB logo flash on the big screen with Hedwigs theme (or Lily's theme as the case in the last film).

After the movie there was an epic wrock victory party. I made friends with two Hufflepuffs and two Ravenclaws and we headed into the room where the concert was held. I was pretty close the first night as I watched Lauren again, JFF, Ministry of Magic and Alex Carpenter play his last show with The Remus Lupins. Totally cried.

The next day at Leaky I knew I wanted to buy a lot of merch so I had Heather come to the vendor room so she could see if she wanted anything and then bring my stuff back to the car haha. I bought a Harry and the Potters shirt, a Luke Conard shirt, Harry Potter Scene It, Harry Potter Clue and Dear Mr. Potter which is a wonderful book I've been wanting with letters and pictures from fans, it's so cool to see how many people are literally just like me. Then I walked around again and went to the Nerdfighter gathering and another LeakyMug which this time Evanna Lynch, who plays Luna, was at.

The last event I went to was Wizard Rock Night II: The Final Guitar Battle, I was literally front and center....but really...with like 3,000 people there.....yeah. I saw The Parselmouths, Gred and Forge, Hank Green, Tonks and the Aurors, Draco and the Malfoys, The Whomping Willows and Harry and the Potters perform. It was fucking magical to say the least. Hank made me cry while singing "Accio Deathly Hallows and I got Steph from Tonks' set list! Draco and the Malfoys were (was? lol just Brian) soooo good! Brian sang his song about Pansy Parkinson to the actual girl who plays Pansy Parkinson, Scarlett Byrne! Then Evanna Lynch danced with Matt while he play "Nargles" which was literally so funny and crazy, she kept doing the wrackspurt dance. And then...Harry and the Potters. I've been waiting to see Harry and the Potters since like 8th grade? I think that's right, and I was so pumped. They were so close I could touch them, but they touched me more. Haha, Joe stroked my face and Paul crowd surfed right on me. For their last last Evanna played bass and the Potter Puppet Pals guy came out and I got to touch the Harry Puppet. The whole crowed was chanting "Leakycon" and Melissa Anelli made a little speech and started crying and then I cried. I just wish I could have stayed for the whole thing. Leaky 2012 baby.

Now the most recent event! POTTERMORE. So on sunday, Harry Potter's birthday, I stayed up until 6 in the morning just to be sure I got in. I was ready, I had Sorcerer's Stone by my side and refreshed the page like crazy waiting for the clue. Finally it was there, I figured it out and found the magic clue and was able to register. I'm so so happy I got in the first night so now I don't have to worry about it. I'm so stoked to get started.

Allwaswell.

downward fucking spiral. fuck all of you. a week away can't come soon enough.

Ain't Even Mad?

I broke my promise to myself. I said I wouldn't do it again until atleast after Florida. Things just stick in my head and me so angry though, whatever.

Thought I forgot about you, huh?

WELP 19 days until Leakycon and you can say I'm pretttttty stoked. (<<<understatement of the year).

To prepare I am listening to massive amounts of Wizard Rock (as if I wouldn't anyway...), bought my midnight release ticket (which is actually, get this, a 6pm release ticket!!), and have bought numerous new merch items including a light up wand, Harry's glasses as earrings, a Gryffindor tie, a deathly hallows necklace, and the horcrux locket just to name a few.

I am also planning on going to a Whomping Willows and Lauren Fairweather wrock concert on July 8th to kick of my month of awesomeness. This will be my fourth time seeing them and Leaky will be my fifth. Yeah. Buddy. July 9th happens to be my Uncle's wedding. I bought a dress today and let's just say I'm less than thrilled about it. There were actually tears. Immediately following the wedding my parents, Heather and I will be on our way to Florida for a week of pure bliss. And by bliss I mean standing in crazy ass long lines in scorching heat. BUT I ain't even mad. This Disney/Universal/Leakycon trip shall be amazing, and gym shorts shall be worn. To end my July I am seeing Weezer at PNC, this deserves another "Yeah Buddy".

In other news I am going to see Matt & Kim again on Wednesday!!! BAHHHH!

OH and the "bros" had another "bro night"....Kind of upset since I've been wanting to do something all day and I rarely get off work and wasn't invited. WHATEVER.

The O.C.:Season 2: Episode 23 I thought Julie was about to kill Caleb, she didn't...yet. Summer just got prom queen! Yayy! Oof Zach got king, but he left! (he went to go meet George Lucas about his comic book). BUT Seth finally arrived and is now making a speech on how much he loves Summer and now they're kissinggggg. AND Ryan and Marissa are better. Prom is magical. FINALLY all is right.

NOTICE: It's 4 a.m so judge me on this post. I dare ya. (I'm also watching another episode).

UPDATE: Cal died. Shit. Not from Julie though, bad heart...and fell in a pool?

Writing through clouded vision.

I just caught the last 15 minutes of Toy Story 3 and let me just say you'd think my dog just died or something the way my face is tear stained. It just made me think of when I saw it graduation day and all my friends going away to school and I just got really sentimental. Also, it's a sad ass fucking movie. I miss my friends a whole lot. I need them more then they need me, I'm lonely.

Like a bolt of LIGHTNING.

 A survey I put together from bits and pieces of other surveys because most questions just suck.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
sweats all da way.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
I like to think so.

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be?
MAH NOSE. Hoooop.

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
lol. kinda.............
   
Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
honestly, no. sadly.
  
Did you have a dream last night?
It was kinda like a sleep day dream. Payless was getting robbed and I was in charge and freaking out so Juan came up behind this guy and knocked him out with one of the shoe grabbing sticks. Yeah.
  
Could you spend a whole night with the last person you kissed?
I mean, maybe if I knew his name. Or what he looked like. college baby.
 
Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
If my dreams can come trueee.

Who always makes you feel better?
harry&ron&hermione.
   
Have you ever dyed your hair?
OH yeah. and again on wednesday. cant waaait.
 
What is the last thing you laughed really hard over?
Snoop getting slimed. lolwut.
   
How many times have you been to the ER for yourself?
I don't think it was the ER but I have ridden in an ambulance before.
  
Is "because i was drunk" a good enough excuse for you?
hellz yeah.
 
Have you ever burned yourself?
There's this family video of my on my like 4th birthday blowing out my birthday candles and I guess I got too close and everyone starts screaming "she burned herself! she burned herself" (Me and Tayl always quote that) but I really didn't. Everyone just freaked my out and I started crying haha. Anyway, yes, by a campfire spark...and it really hurt.
   
Where's the last place you went besides your house?
J-Town Diner's where itz att.
 
What's the last thing to make you upset?
Harry Potter tumblr pictures. Never ending weeps.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I would have one right now if it wasn't for the rents.

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Oh yes, that's how to get in a locked house. It's climbing though, not crawling.
  
What woke you up today?
Don't Unplug Me.

What is something you disliked about your day?
Working 9 hours should do it.
      
Do you like when people play with your hair?
No. Stay away.
 
What are you doing tomorrow?
Working 9 hours. Again.
 
How much money did you spend today?
$12
 
Do you know any Spanish?
Ocho Meada (sounds like that) (eight and a half)

do you like lightning?
LIKE A BOLT OF LIGHTNING. ssssteel train. but yes.

have you ever cut someone else’s hair?
Barbie.
                      
what’s the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
Probably my prom dress? I don't think that counts though.
 
favorite guilty pleasure?
phineas and ferb. oh and diary of a wimpy kid. loll.

Where was your default picture taken?
My family room. It has the most likes on it because it looks nothing like me. Oh. Truth.
   
Will next weekend be a good one?
YEAH BUDDYYY.
 
What are you looking forward to?
since you asked, tcnj this weekend, fun./steel train, pwII, matt & kim, florida/leakycon, deathly hallows pt. 2 (but also severely dreading it)

How many tattoos would you get?
3ish probably.
            
Why did your parents give you the name you have?
My grandpa kept calling my sister Taylor by the name Jodi because he liked it better. By the time I was born that name was stuck in my parents head.
       

When did you meet the last female you texted?
The day I was born <3

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them?
If I say yes will you judge me?
   
What are you freakishly obsessed with?
You have to ask?
       

Where EXACTLY were you when you entered 2011?
Hunter's with the biffles.
What is your main ring tone on your phone?
Cameras Remix - Matt & Kim

Whos your favorite redhead?
ronald bilius weasley.

Is your favorite food macaroni and cheese?
Never. Had. It.

Do you cry often?
Oh yes. :/
What's the last book you read?
Currently Reading: HP and the PoA and An Abundance of Katherines.
What's on your bedroom wall?
Harry Potter posters up the wazoooooo.

HOKAY DONE. Have a great day. KBYE.

Heeeeey Hey Baby.

Waaah I want to get married. Now. :( However, judging from my last post a guy has to be extremely intoxicated to get with me no chance that'll ever happen soon. Here are some lovely dresses I'm looking at, of course I wanna get supaa skinny first. Rofl.



Gah the detail of that dress!




and the baccccck!

That's all for now. Love lace, love vintage-y styled ones. Yep.

LOL

get the fuck over yourself, honestly. look in the damn mirror and get off your damn high horse.

We We We So Excited.

I've seen 10/12 thread members this spring break and THAT is extremely wonderful. It was like having friends again. LOL. We immediately jumped right in to where we left off, goofing off and gossiping about everyone. Ya know sometimes I wonder what people say about me when I'm not around. Hmmm. Whateva! Tonight I got together with Jack, Hunter and Rita and let me tell you it was so great. I haven't seen the three of them since winter break. Last week I saw the rest of them, which was Mary, Matt, Dave, Katie, Emily and Brian. Which was just as great. I feel like the two times I hung out with everyone was a complete 180 from each other. Tonight we were all just nuts and silly and sang "Friday" all night, (it's brainwashing me, I swear). Last week with the other kids we just hung out and watched a movie and talked about prom weekend a lot. With this I kind of feel like I can't be as silly around (well some of them) and I have to like watch what I do and say more for a fear of judgment. Don't get me wrong I don't hate or dislike at all any thread members they just make me feel different and I guess act different too when I'm around certain groups of them. (that sounds so awk but I don't know how to fix it.......) I love everyone and I actually love how they bring out different sides of me. With this person I can be totally honest, with this person I have to watch what I do but will always love do death, these group I can be totally insane (throw some glitter make it rain ;) ) this group makes me think and engourages me to bring out my more intellectual side. I love them and am so happy I actually got to see the majority of them. Summer isn't coming soon enough.

SORRY BLOGGY.

But I love tumbly more I think :/
Hopefully I'll find some inspiration........................or something.....


http://joditraut.tumblr.com/

Oh hey Jod, so what's in your memory box?

Funny you should ask. I'm not really sure why I wanted to blog about this but I just really did. It's kinda new and doesn't have much in it yet (still have various items around my room to add) so don't judge. I love it.

1. Whomping Willows CD.

2. The field hockey slide show I created.

3. Rita's THREAD slide show.

4. Harry and the Potters mix CD made my Carly. (First Wrock experience)

5. Boston slide show.

6. Philly slide show.

7. Graduation/Project Graduation slide show.

Various Concert Tickets

1. Cartel

2. Fun.

3. Say Anything

4. Matt & Kim

5. Wrockfest

Whoops. I drew my PW predictions. Only somewhat accurate. LOL.

1. Tonks and the Aurors set list from Wrockfest.

2. Falcon pin from athletic boosters? I think.

3. A picture Sheila drew me Sophomore year.

4. Field hockey magnet from the senior banquet.

5. Choir key chain for being there all four years. <3

1. Field hockey ornament.

2. Bracelet from the Half-Blood Prince book release.

3. A letter from Matt....I mean Professor Mcgonagall.

4. My GATEways feet.

5. Arcade tickets from Cape May with Rita and Nik.

This gem is a song me and Nik wrote on the back of a Diner placemat. You may not read it.

1. Random pictures (mostly prom).

2. Varsity field hockey picture.

3. My key-tar. Major lol.

4. A nerdfighter note I found. <3

5. Giraffe pin from a purse my Grandparents gave me a long time ago. It always reminds me of my Grandpa.

6. My (incredibly, insane, awesome) book of dreams.

Unfuckingbelievable.

Sometimes I think my father is the most ignorant man in the world. Do your research first.

TCNJ yeah.

I have to say this weekend was pretty damn great. It was nice just to relax and hang out with old friends. I wish I was smart so I could go hereeeee.

I like this.

There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me.  She looked at me and made a threatening gesture,  now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate.  I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me.  The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.  Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning?  That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise.  I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

This is my pretty backpack.

A Variable.

I really don't think that people know how difficult a situation can really be unless them, themselves are thrusted into it. Sure I don't know what you're doing and how your life is fairing but that just means you sure as hell don't know anything about mine either. What I'm trying to lead into is that I really want to do something different with my life. Like desperately. However, there is a problem with that. I am not as I said, "thrusted" into opportunities where I can quickly adjust my life by adding a variable. See I do not have a "best friend roommate" or someone to walk to class with everyday or even a "more than a friend" person that can just change my life ever so slighty so that I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile and not the monotonous shit I'm used to. I'm lost, yeah, but I'm sick of people assuming that I am, even though I goddamn am. I don't want to need you or you or you. That is why I need a variable. I'm sick of just the constant.

Ew. Another Surv. Sorry my life is boooring ha.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
everything you can imagine. hmm. a shirt, books, garbage, a recorder, a cd player...

2. When was the last time you threw up?
halloween -___-

3. What's your favorite word or phrase?
THANK YOU FOR CALLING PAYLESS HOW CAN I HELP YOU? No, but really.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
the dogs maybe? psh yeah.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleeeep.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
watching LOST :)

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
nope ha.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
lol...I don't even know.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
twistttt (soft serve)

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
apple juice :)

12. What are you wearing right now?
field hockey sweatpants, harry potter and the order of the phoenix tank top and an aeropostale sweatshirt I don't wear in public.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
"woven wheats" (ya know...tricuits?) and chedddaa cheese.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
super cute cardigan and some shoes.

15. When was the last time you ran?
last weekish :/

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
hmmm. Maybe one of the field hockey games? is that right? ew.

17. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
californiaaaa.

19. Ever go camping?
<333 chyeah. I always wanted the thread to go. nooo chance though lolll.

20. Do you have a tan?
if white means tan.

21. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
ha nooo. wait ALMOST my TCNJ guest pass thing. Good ol' Mar saved it though.

22. What is your guilty pleasure?
youtube...and twitter...oh and dailybooth...stupid tumblr.

23. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
yepp.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
when I can.

25. What did your last text message say?
wait....LOL. it was "got my lantern" bahah thanks Tayl.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
eh. I would hope so.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
listening to an education lecture then work. COOL MAN.

28. Where is your mom right now?
shleeping.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
nail polishh.

30. What color is your watch?
none :/

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Claire.

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
oh my. They're only my favorite.

33. Birthstone?
sapphire babbbby.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
oh it depends.

35. Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate?
annoying people but I would't say hate.

36. Do you have a dog?
Khak and Deed <3

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
according to my call history....my mom....four days ago....

38. Have you met anyone famous?
:D famous people in my mind.

39. Any plans today?
just class and work. oh and a nap I hope.

40. What's on your bed?
harry potter blanket/pillow, tigger, pillows

41. Are you happy?
nope.

42. Where are you right now?
my reclina in tha livin rooom.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
no friends. family never wants to do anything.

44. Last song listened to?
The Harold Song-Ke$ha oh I'm in love.

45. Last movie you saw?
Mean Girls....k it was Mean Girls 2. JUDGE ME.

46. Are you allergic to cats?
no.

47. Favorite pair of shoes?
whoa. I love my new cheetahs andd my maroon converse. i have a lot of shoes though so I don't like to discriminate.

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
maybe? idk.

49. Are you married?
waaahhh.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
they would be a dumb fuck hahahha.

51. What time is it?
1.12am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
nope.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
class and nap?

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
nope

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
more like "hi, how are you?"

57. How many kids do you want when you're older?
LOTS

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
ohyes <3

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I don't really have scars. I do have a few cardboard cuts from work though. That shows I'm adventurous right?


In other news I made this short video today. Yes I know it sucks but I was experimenting. I put it on facebook real quick but then took it down because I was embarrassed....well here it is anyway...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89hOjFG-TxU

Pikachu Let's Goooooo.

I mean it's totally rational to be crying right now because all my friends are out partying and the only thing I'm doing on a Friday night is refreshing my youtube page. Right? RIGHT?

Rofl. I didn't say goodbye to a single one of them bitches.

My Master Plan.

FOILED.

So ever since like middle school I guess I had this master plan for my life. It went like this.

Step 1: Complete High School with decent grades.

Step 2: Go to a four year college. (I swore to myself I would never attend CCM...)

Step 3: Find someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

Step 4: Marry that person right after college.

Step 5: Pop out as many little babies as I could.

Well I screwed that up now didn't I? Yeah I got decent grades in high school but the problem was that I was lazy. I didn't ever feel like researching the place I would stay for the next four years so soon. Since one of my friends was also going to CCM I figured hey well this isn't so bad at least someone will be home with me. That turned out well didn't it haha. Now I'm kinda stuck huh? Besides being completely broke if I were to transfer after two years everyone my age would all ready moving into apartments and would have their own group of friends. I'm thinking (as of now) that I will continue out CCM for the two years and then be done. Just work. Work and I guess bar hop to find that guy....no chance I'll find him at County. If I'm not married when I'm thirty......holy hell I will join a Nunery so that will be my excuse.

LOST season 3 disc 1.

Oh Herrrro Der.

Since Nik left I feel like I'm spending way less money which is a good thing since chegg and school feel like taking all of my money -___- (but I do miss ya of course Nik, many of times I have wanted to call you to go to the diner or the mall blahhhh)

Plans for Prom Weekend II are underway. Definitely happening. I'm super excited because A) I can party non-stop for a week and B) "my friends" will be forced to hang out with me. I can kind of guarentee I'll see Nik before I see most of them...and they're all still home.

FINALLY registered for classes (be a procrastinating lazy ass is probably the main reason I ended up at CCM in the first place). I have one class a day except Fridays I have off and I'm taking my Psychology class over again since I failed it the first time around. I only have one night class which is wednesday, however I did tell Payless that I have night classes Friday as well just so I will always have off....is that bad? Oops. I mean I can totally work Friday mornings just give me nights off k Ger? I plan on going to TCNJ a lot this semester which is why I want my Fridays clear. Hopefully Gerri doesn't catch on and starts giving me more Saturday mornings, that would suck.

So these are my classes: General Psychology, Continuing Social Issues (with the same professor as last semester whom I lovvvved), Children's Literature, (I couln't get into "Teaching in America" which was my recommended semester II class so hopefully this works out. Also I'm actually looking foward to this class) and Composition II (with a Jamacian professor...we'll see how that goes). I start on Tuesday and I really don't want to. I'm loving this carefree do whatever I want lifestyle during break which is why once I have the money to move out I am. And I can't wait but I'm sure that will be in a very long time. (When I just typed the word "very" i accidently typed "verry" which reminds me of a short story. SO in first grade I mispelled "very" for "verry" and my teacher said "adding an extra "r" doesn't make it any more very. That's it. That was my story. I used to confuse very with really sometimes. WHATEVA.

I started a "Why is today awesome?" journal. I like it. Everyday I write a sentence about why my day was awesome (inspired by the fiveawesome girls) and draw a picture to correlate. My first entry is about my uke, Little Red. there's also one about going to the movies, having a 0.00 variance at work (LOL...) and one about having a real dinner for once. It's just little things that stand out in my day.

LOST season 2 disc 5.

Can anything ever just be NOT gone tomorrow?

This was a sad day.

I just said goodbye to my closest friend about two hours ago. Ugh. It's surreal. Nik would always talk about going to Florida but I never really thought that it would actually come. Once I got in my car I was sobbing uncontrollably. Now who am I going to hang out with, or solve my late night food cravings with, or talk about everyone with, or ask if what I'm wearing looks ok? She totally deserves it and is going to have a wonderful time. I hope she doesn't miss me one bit. K maybe a little bit :P Gahhh Nik I miss you already and you haven't even left yet! My sad life is sadddd hahha. Have tons of crazy ass fun like I know you will and don't forget to watch out for those Germans ;) Love you girlfriend. Once your back (May 14th right? soooo 126 days...oh) we'll continue from right where we left off. Miss you best friend. <3

R.I.P.

         It's crazy to think that somehow one person can easily disappear from the planet. One day they're living life, doing their daily activities and the next day they're gone. Dead. She was only twenty two and they never expected it. I think my mom said it was a brain anerysm. She died three days before Christmas. Our families fell out of touch years ago but I still remember playing dolls in her huge walk-in closet and her E.T. doll that always scared the crap out of me and also her tree house, we could all stay up there for hours. I don't tell my family I love them enough. It's truly sad, tomorrow may not happen for some of them and that scares the shit out of me.

Rest in peace Erica.

Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

I decided I'm sick of being "nice". Well not decided more like realized.

(Inserted here was a pissed off paragraph I wrote but then erased because I thought it was too "mean"...see?)

Whatever.

In other news:

I got sucked into Pretty Littler Liars...oh. I'm actually watching it right now cuddled up in pajamas and a blanked. (Lies I'm not really in a blanket but I thought that sounded better).

I really want a ukulele and I honestly don't care what you have to say about that, I've wanted it for quite some time now and I believe me and Mary are going to a music store to get some goods as she wants a keyboard.

I'm on episode 14ish? of LOST season one and will watch more tonight.

Work is as slow as ever this time of year and it's WONDERFUL.

New Years was a-ok. I couldn't "party hard" since I had ten hours of work to attend to the next day but overall it was a good time.

Don't let me know...that's cool...

I saw Faaria and Kate today it was really nice.

I want high-tech video editing software.

...my tooth is loose.

k nighttt.


OH and I might (a BIG might, actually no. MOST LIKELY) will be attending LeakyCon 2011. Holy SHIT hfdohsfkdshfksdhfjsdh <that's my excitment...but times it times 32482367486328432947242389473287 like that. Only More.