Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Baby it's cold outside.
Christmas was absolutely wonderful. I'm sad we wait for it for forever and then its just gone. Well only 364 more days right? -____-
Sooo Christmas Eve we did the traditonal do to Grandma's, eat tons of food and exchange gifts. All the gifts are ten dollars and under since there are so much of us so we generally get stuff like body lotions, pajama pants, slippers, jewlery, gift cards (however from my one Aunt I was the only one who did not get a ten dollar gift card....I got a car vaccuum...that you charge into your cigarette lighter...which I don't have. Ha trust me I'm grateful I just thought it was freaking hysterical. Literally haha.
After Grandma's we came home and opened all of our presents from each other. We opened them all on Christmas Eve so we could sleep in on Christmas morning and spend time getting ready for people to come. From Leah I got two super cute sparkly tank tops (which I really could use for going out) from Karli I got a Harry Potter fleece blanket (love) from Taylor I got a sweater from Urban Outfitters I actually wore the next day and from Heather I got a Harry Potter pop-up book. Yep it's amazing. And then from my parents I got (well picked out really) a gym membership, new sneakers, a sweatshirt from Threadless (in another post) and two John Green books. Oh and a target gift card and various Avon items in my stocking.
Christmas Eve was very nice and is always my favorite day of the year. I love my family and it's so great (and crazy) when all of the thirty-something of us are in the same room.
On Christmas day my Grandparents and my cousins from Tennessee who we don't get to see a lot came over. We had a feast of turkey and ham and it was wonderful. Then we had about fifty different kinds of desserts. Whenever "the cousins" are over (there's two of them, 15 and 20 year old girls) we always share stories we remember from when we were little. It was quite nice of course. Later we played Wipe Out for Wii haha I totally recommend it. Even when you're not playing you will be laughing your ass off. Then five of us slept in my tiny room and we watched Pineapple Express which I fell asleep during but it's cool, I've seen it before.
That's it. That was my Christmas. It was so chill and I loved it.
Now it's snowing. Blahh.
Sooo Christmas Eve we did the traditonal do to Grandma's, eat tons of food and exchange gifts. All the gifts are ten dollars and under since there are so much of us so we generally get stuff like body lotions, pajama pants, slippers, jewlery, gift cards (however from my one Aunt I was the only one who did not get a ten dollar gift card....I got a car vaccuum...that you charge into your cigarette lighter...which I don't have. Ha trust me I'm grateful I just thought it was freaking hysterical. Literally haha.
After Grandma's we came home and opened all of our presents from each other. We opened them all on Christmas Eve so we could sleep in on Christmas morning and spend time getting ready for people to come. From Leah I got two super cute sparkly tank tops (which I really could use for going out) from Karli I got a Harry Potter fleece blanket (love) from Taylor I got a sweater from Urban Outfitters I actually wore the next day and from Heather I got a Harry Potter pop-up book. Yep it's amazing. And then from my parents I got (well picked out really) a gym membership, new sneakers, a sweatshirt from Threadless (in another post) and two John Green books. Oh and a target gift card and various Avon items in my stocking.
Christmas Eve was very nice and is always my favorite day of the year. I love my family and it's so great (and crazy) when all of the thirty-something of us are in the same room.
On Christmas day my Grandparents and my cousins from Tennessee who we don't get to see a lot came over. We had a feast of turkey and ham and it was wonderful. Then we had about fifty different kinds of desserts. Whenever "the cousins" are over (there's two of them, 15 and 20 year old girls) we always share stories we remember from when we were little. It was quite nice of course. Later we played Wipe Out for Wii haha I totally recommend it. Even when you're not playing you will be laughing your ass off. Then five of us slept in my tiny room and we watched Pineapple Express which I fell asleep during but it's cool, I've seen it before.
That's it. That was my Christmas. It was so chill and I loved it.
Now it's snowing. Blahh.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Still Freezing.
Tonight I finally reunited with some old friends. And when I categorize them as "old" I mean only. It was really nice to see that nothing really has changed. I couldn't really get into any of the conversations at all since A) I am not intellectual in the least bit as I am sure you can tell my reading my posts and B) I am not a boy. I really just enjoyed seeing everyone (well almost everyone) together again. We watched the lunar eclipse. It was freezing. I would have rather sat in Dave's basement and chatted but how many times can you really say you've seen an eclipse right? Probably 30. I don't know ask Mike.
Went to the gym today. Go me.
Went to the gym today. Go me.
Friday, December 17, 2010
WHY...am I so goddamn scared?
UGHughUGH. I just can't even say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. LAME. It'd be easier if I had confidence...but I don't. Whateva. This is a text I sent to nik "wait now I'm smiling so that's nice shshahskdfyascvhdsivh oh my." ROFL it was just nice. Didn't even say a word.
So I went by Santa today....EXCEPT it wasn't Santa. This man was YELLING cheese at the camera. Santa does not "yell" cheese nor does he even say it. It looked exactly like him though and I was so confused because for like 10 minutes I thought it was THE DONALD G. MURPHY. That's Santa for you noobs. When I realized I walked away disgusted.
That is all.
OH and go watch project 4 awesome videos on youtube. Wait. Who am I even talking to?
The Real Santa
So I went by Santa today....EXCEPT it wasn't Santa. This man was YELLING cheese at the camera. Santa does not "yell" cheese nor does he even say it. It looked exactly like him though and I was so confused because for like 10 minutes I thought it was THE DONALD G. MURPHY. That's Santa for you noobs. When I realized I walked away disgusted.
That is all.
OH and go watch project 4 awesome videos on youtube. Wait. Who am I even talking to?
The Real Santa
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Lodge? LOL.
I founf five dollars in my pocket today. I was super excited since I'm poor. When I went to work the Toys for Tots guy was outside of JCPenny again and the other day I told him I was going to work and would come out on my break. I didn't have any cash on me and felt really bad so I hid in the backroom for my fifteen minutes of freedom. Needless to say I gave him my surprise five dollars and I felt really good about it.
Random recent thoughts.
So I haven't registered for classes yet...no surprise there huh? Whateva.
I miss the holiday assembly.
I had the WEIRDEST dream the other day. ew.
I saw two people that used to go to my elementary school. It was mind blowing.
I don't want to grow up.
I saw a friend that I haven't seen since august's mom today. (that doesn't even make sense...I'm too tired..yeahh that's going to be my excuse.) It made me sad.
I'm quite lonely.
OH and my parents told me we are going to Disney in June. Didn't expect that one. I knew they were going and I thought if any of us wanted to go we had to pay our way. How nice. It's a Lodge trip and were staying at a Lodge guy's house who lives right outside of the park. Lodge is quite difficult to explain. It's the Masonic Lodge liiiike George Washington and such. They have secret meetings? And lots of events? Ha clearly I have no idea BUT my dad is set to be the HEAD HONCHO in 2012. Like the ruler of New Jersey. He's the Senior Grand Warden and we'll be the Grand Master of New Jersey in 2012. Don't believe me? I'm sure you do but anyway here's a link http://www.newjerseygrandlodge.org/ElectedLine (lol dad). I'm proud of him. His father and most of his brothers also attend lodge. I still don't get it, all I know is I sometimes get a new dress for fancy lodge occasions. WHATEVA.
This took a weird turn.
Harry is talking to Tom Riddle in the chamber. UGH I can't seem to finish this book. Tomorrow. No. Tonight.
Random recent thoughts.
So I haven't registered for classes yet...no surprise there huh? Whateva.
I miss the holiday assembly.
I had the WEIRDEST dream the other day. ew.
I saw two people that used to go to my elementary school. It was mind blowing.
I don't want to grow up.
I saw a friend that I haven't seen since august's mom today. (that doesn't even make sense...I'm too tired..yeahh that's going to be my excuse.) It made me sad.
I'm quite lonely.
OH and my parents told me we are going to Disney in June. Didn't expect that one. I knew they were going and I thought if any of us wanted to go we had to pay our way. How nice. It's a Lodge trip and were staying at a Lodge guy's house who lives right outside of the park. Lodge is quite difficult to explain. It's the Masonic Lodge liiiike George Washington and such. They have secret meetings? And lots of events? Ha clearly I have no idea BUT my dad is set to be the HEAD HONCHO in 2012. Like the ruler of New Jersey. He's the Senior Grand Warden and we'll be the Grand Master of New Jersey in 2012. Don't believe me? I'm sure you do but anyway here's a link http://www.newjerseygrandlodge.org/ElectedLine (lol dad). I'm proud of him. His father and most of his brothers also attend lodge. I still don't get it, all I know is I sometimes get a new dress for fancy lodge occasions. WHATEVA.
This took a weird turn.
Harry is talking to Tom Riddle in the chamber. UGH I can't seem to finish this book. Tomorrow. No. Tonight.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
these are a few of my favorite things.
 |
| this sweatshirt i'm getting for christmas. |
this is in my room <3
|
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Hide Away.
Lol so someone posted one of those surveys when the put their music on shuffle and I was doing by myself and was contemplataing whether or not to post it but it got ridiculous so I have to do it.
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
a little bit of rock and roll
How would you describe yourself?
out tonight (rofl...)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
the best thing
How do you feel today?
let's do this
What is your life’s purpose?
this town (how ironic)
What is your motto?
the city never sleeps
When do your friends think of you?
WASTE MYSELF. how perfect lolll.
What do you think of your parents?
wizard wheezes
What do you think about very often?
harder, better, faster, stronger
What is 2 + 2 ?
girls freak me out...?
What do you think of your best friend?
dont want you back hahha.
What do you think of the person you like?
right here, right now
What is your life story?
rockin' robin (i guesss.)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
thoughts on the ministry of magic HA.
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
beautiful ;)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
invisible (thanks t-swift -___-)
What will they play at your funeral?
living death
What is your hobby/interest?
angel (surprised it wasnt a wrock song)
What is your biggest fear?
meet me at fantasy island
What is your biggest secret?
trash
What do you think of your friends?
i'm real
What is going through your mind when you wake up in the morning?
and she said
What do you wish you sounded like as an artist?
plays pretty for baby
What song will be playing when the world is attacked by aliens?
day by day
Song that reminds you of him/her?
dont forget about us
What puts you to sleep?
breakdown (truth. ha)
Your "at bat" theme song?
girl on tv (LFO right therrre)
What will you post this as?
hide away
Sorry to be lame but I thought that was funny. Hopefully soon I'll right something reaaaalll.
If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say?
a little bit of rock and roll
How would you describe yourself?
out tonight (rofl...)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
the best thing
How do you feel today?
let's do this
What is your life’s purpose?
this town (how ironic)
What is your motto?
the city never sleeps
When do your friends think of you?
WASTE MYSELF. how perfect lolll.
What do you think of your parents?
wizard wheezes
What do you think about very often?
harder, better, faster, stronger
What is 2 + 2 ?
girls freak me out...?
What do you think of your best friend?
dont want you back hahha.
What do you think of the person you like?
right here, right now
What is your life story?
rockin' robin (i guesss.)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
thoughts on the ministry of magic HA.
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
beautiful ;)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
invisible (thanks t-swift -___-)
What will they play at your funeral?
living death
What is your hobby/interest?
angel (surprised it wasnt a wrock song)
What is your biggest fear?
meet me at fantasy island
What is your biggest secret?
trash
What do you think of your friends?
i'm real
What is going through your mind when you wake up in the morning?
and she said
What do you wish you sounded like as an artist?
plays pretty for baby
What song will be playing when the world is attacked by aliens?
day by day
Song that reminds you of him/her?
dont forget about us
What puts you to sleep?
breakdown (truth. ha)
Your "at bat" theme song?
girl on tv (LFO right therrre)
What will you post this as?
hide away
Sorry to be lame but I thought that was funny. Hopefully soon I'll right something reaaaalll.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Another wonderful night at the Trautmann household.
sar·casm
[sahr-kaz-uh
m] –noun
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.
To get my mind off things I'm going to maybe do one of those facebook/myspace surverys if I find one. Hopefully a long one.
Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, I still love you. You say?
um that was sixth grade and not love soooo...
Do you trust your gut instinct?
i like to think so but i guess i usually go back and forth with things.
Why is it so hard to let go?
because i love everyone and everything. :( i never get over people or things that make me happy easily.
The last person you kissed says they want you to be theirs. You say?
ha...what's your name again?
Does anyone call you babe?
no :(
What is your CURRENT relationship status?
single, but i'd buy you the nicest sweaters from old navy if i weren't...lol nik you know.
Your last kiss probably meant nothing, right?
truth.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
weezer... ;) master plan.
Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
yep and never again.
Do you ever get paranoid when someone is reading your text messages?
lollll i used to so much because i was a fooooool with a secret.
Do you know what the difference between 'your' and 'you're' is?
ugh. yes.
Do you feel like life will be easier when you're older, or harder?
i sure as hell hope it's easier...but i doubt it.
Will the last person you kissed be the next person you kiss?
no.
When people say "I don't ever talk about anyone" do you believe it?
generally...no. sorry mankind.
Do you have any hidden talents?
besides touching my tounge to my nose...no.
Would you rather tell somebody how you feel straight up, or wait?
neither. insecurity gets the best of me.
Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
sure.
If you just drank 15 beers, what would yoube doing?
just give me a loko -______-
Are you hard to please?
not at all. generally anything can make me happy. anything nice i mean.
Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?
having one is a prerequisite right?
Is there anyone you wish to fix things with?
not really.
Have you ever really been in love?
friendship love is allll.
Do you tend to hold things against people?
maybe. im not sure.
Anything bothering you right now?
oh just everything ya'know.
Who was the last person to touch your stomach?
lol..myself...
What do you hear right now?
dishwasher..truth.
Who last told you they loved you?
dont even know.
Are you wanting any tattoos at the moment?
oh most definitely. i want glasses with a lightning bolt over them on the side of my wrist, for obvious reasons. and soon too hopefully.
Where do you wish you were right now?
in high school with everyone :(
Does anything on your body itch right now?
no
Do you forgive easily?
yes but i hold grudges for a very long time i think. they just dont know.
In the past five days, would you go back and change something?
waking up with 6 minutes to get ready for work..
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
yes.
Do you remember who you liked this time 3 months ago?
lolz
Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
accept but blocked from things...it was my boss.
Are you a morning person, or a night person?
night for sure.
Oceans, lakes, or pools?
oceans or lakes i think.
Is there anything on your feet right now?
striped sockkkks.
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
heather.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
eh, probably not.
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
of course
Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don't talk to at all?
yeah :/ people just grow apart.
Describe how you feel right now?
saaaaaaaaaaaad
Anything your looking forward too?
christmas break please.
Something you do a lot?
harry potter. yep. harry potter anything. and facebook.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
nope.
What's your relationship like with the last person you talked to?
my father. good i guess, except nights like tonight where nothing at all goes my way and everything's always my fault.
Do you want to get married and have children some day?
quickly and tons.
doubtful. cat lady here i come. and i hate cats.
The last person you held hands with go to your school?
dont even remember when this was.
Is your hair curly or straight right now?
straight
Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
sixth grade ex? no thanks.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
nope.
Are you a patient person?
noooo.
The last person to hurt you apologizes, do you accept?
i always do i guess.
The person who hurt you the most calls & needs you, do you go?
probably.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
too much.
Do you honestly miss someone?
too many it breaks my heart.
Where is that person?
they're all stretched across several states </3
Do you read your horoscope?
only in like the back of a magazine that i read occasionally.
Where was the last place you bought something?
forever 21
Do you think you are an argumentative person?
not particularly.
Can you read other people's expressions?
sometimes. most of the times it is snarky though. ughh.
When was the last time something bothered you?
just everyday is all.
Last person to call you?
...................................................julio...................................
Are boys/girls really worth it?
yess
What happened last night?
i decorated my house for christmas :)
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
couch?
Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
it sure as hell better or im screwed.
Am I satisfied? Am I ever?
um that was sixth grade and not love soooo...
Do you trust your gut instinct?
i like to think so but i guess i usually go back and forth with things.
Why is it so hard to let go?
because i love everyone and everything. :( i never get over people or things that make me happy easily.
The last person you kissed says they want you to be theirs. You say?
ha...what's your name again?
Does anyone call you babe?
no :(
What is your CURRENT relationship status?
single, but i'd buy you the nicest sweaters from old navy if i weren't...lol nik you know.
Your last kiss probably meant nothing, right?
truth.
Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
weezer... ;) master plan.
Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
yep and never again.
Do you ever get paranoid when someone is reading your text messages?
lollll i used to so much because i was a fooooool with a secret.
Do you know what the difference between 'your' and 'you're' is?
ugh. yes.
Do you feel like life will be easier when you're older, or harder?
i sure as hell hope it's easier...but i doubt it.
Will the last person you kissed be the next person you kiss?
no.
When people say "I don't ever talk about anyone" do you believe it?
generally...no. sorry mankind.
Do you have any hidden talents?
besides touching my tounge to my nose...no.
Would you rather tell somebody how you feel straight up, or wait?
neither. insecurity gets the best of me.
Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
sure.
If you just drank 15 beers, what would yoube doing?
just give me a loko -______-
Are you hard to please?
not at all. generally anything can make me happy. anything nice i mean.
Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?
having one is a prerequisite right?
Is there anyone you wish to fix things with?
not really.
Have you ever really been in love?
friendship love is allll.
Do you tend to hold things against people?
maybe. im not sure.
Anything bothering you right now?
oh just everything ya'know.
Who was the last person to touch your stomach?
lol..myself...
What do you hear right now?
dishwasher..truth.
Who last told you they loved you?
dont even know.
Are you wanting any tattoos at the moment?
oh most definitely. i want glasses with a lightning bolt over them on the side of my wrist, for obvious reasons. and soon too hopefully.
Where do you wish you were right now?
in high school with everyone :(
Does anything on your body itch right now?
no
Do you forgive easily?
yes but i hold grudges for a very long time i think. they just dont know.
In the past five days, would you go back and change something?
waking up with 6 minutes to get ready for work..
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
yes.
Do you remember who you liked this time 3 months ago?
lolz
Did you reject or accept your last friend request?
accept but blocked from things...it was my boss.
Are you a morning person, or a night person?
night for sure.
Oceans, lakes, or pools?
oceans or lakes i think.
Is there anything on your feet right now?
striped sockkkks.
Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
heather.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
eh, probably not.
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
of course
Is there someone you used to talk to every day that you don't talk to at all?
yeah :/ people just grow apart.
Describe how you feel right now?
saaaaaaaaaaaad
Anything your looking forward too?
christmas break please.
Something you do a lot?
harry potter. yep. harry potter anything. and facebook.
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
nope.
What's your relationship like with the last person you talked to?
my father. good i guess, except nights like tonight where nothing at all goes my way and everything's always my fault.
Do you want to get married and have children some day?
quickly and tons.
doubtful. cat lady here i come. and i hate cats.
The last person you held hands with go to your school?
dont even remember when this was.
Is your hair curly or straight right now?
straight
Do you believe ex’s can be friends?
sixth grade ex? no thanks.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
nope.
Are you a patient person?
noooo.
The last person to hurt you apologizes, do you accept?
i always do i guess.
The person who hurt you the most calls & needs you, do you go?
probably.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
too much.
Do you honestly miss someone?
too many it breaks my heart.
Where is that person?
they're all stretched across several states </3
Do you read your horoscope?
only in like the back of a magazine that i read occasionally.
Where was the last place you bought something?
forever 21
Do you think you are an argumentative person?
not particularly.
Can you read other people's expressions?
sometimes. most of the times it is snarky though. ughh.
When was the last time something bothered you?
just everyday is all.
Last person to call you?
...................................................julio...................................
Are boys/girls really worth it?
yess
What happened last night?
i decorated my house for christmas :)
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
couch?
Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?
it sure as hell better or im screwed.
Am I satisfied? Am I ever?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
My Angsty, Dramatic, My Life Sucks so Pitty Me Blog Post
Everyone is entitled to atleast one right? Especially if they screwed up their life and have no friends...
Warning: Personal shit you probably don't give two damns about.
So I have been sulking all week. I can't deal with anything anymore and I'm reaching my breaking point. My family critiques every little thing I do. I can't have one day where I come home from work or class without being yelled at for having a book lying around or leaving an empty glass downstairs. Honestly. Every fucking day. I ask my mom to pick something up at the store (which she is already at) and she tells me I have a car and to buy it myself whether it be food or goddamn batteries.
Going to CCM was the worst decision I could have possibly made and I hate myself for it. I thought being home would be fine and whatever, I mean I thought I didn't mind my family but now I'm crying every other night and ripping my hair out the rest of the time. I seriously can't do anything right around here and I wish I had half a brain to go to a real college where I didn't have to work every day of my life and could actually go out enjoy the rest of my teenage years.
My friends would always say college would be the best four years of their lives. I would disagree and say it would always be high school. I was right. For my sake anyway, my friends were my life in high school. I didn't realize how much I depended on them and just needed them to be there until they were gone. I thought I'd see them a lot more than I do but I haven't seen some since August. So from going from eight super close friends to none breaks my heart, I mean I have Nik but then she's gone soon too. Then what. They're all having the times of their lives though, new friends, parties, actually being independent. I envy them.
If only I went to a different school and didn't live at home none of this shit would matter. I'd call my mom several times a week probably instead of doubting her every time she says "be careful" when I leave for work. I would have friends any wouldn't be bothered as much with friends from high school. That's why I try so goddamn hard and none of them realize it. I have no one. No one. And I'm just trying so hard to keep them in my life. To keep something constant. But they don't care. I don't blame them. As my mom said a few months ago "they have new friends, jod, get over it. Taylor's not friends with anyone she knew in high school anymore. They moved on." Perfect. That was exactly the right thing to say to me. Really.
I've been super down lately and just need winter break to hurry it's ass up because I need something more. The person I see most right now is Julio...I'm not okay with that.
My favorite YouTube collab channel is ending and that's what kind of started this "what the fuck happened to me" phase. I said on the thread that I have nothing to look foward to now. And than I thought that's fucking sad. My life consists of YouTube. Don't get me wrong I clealy love YouTube and I like to think I have a secret internet life sometimes...but I don't. Yeah I blog now and I have a Twitter, Facebook, YouTube account and a nerdfighter ning and am seriously considering dailybooth-ing. But I do it because of my lack of dare I say it, IRL friends (internet speak). I actually chat with people on my ning and I got my first YouTube subscriber (I only post videos from shows...for now...ew nevermind for always) but never will I do anything with it like I really want to.
Shit my blogs suck. Sorry.
SUMMARY: I fucking hate the point of my life that I am at. I work constantly, have zero friends and my family does nothing but bitch at me. And my nails aren't painted. And my house isn't Christmas-y yet. And I haven't registered for classes yet (as if I care). And I may want to switch majors. And I'm so poor and have so many things I need to buy. And I'm failing my Psych class. And I'll be amazed if I spelled Psych right because I never do and am too lazy to look it up. Sums of my life.
I'm not gonna even tell you how awesome Wrockfest and Fun. was because this mess outweighs it.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
Warning: Personal shit you probably don't give two damns about.
So I have been sulking all week. I can't deal with anything anymore and I'm reaching my breaking point. My family critiques every little thing I do. I can't have one day where I come home from work or class without being yelled at for having a book lying around or leaving an empty glass downstairs. Honestly. Every fucking day. I ask my mom to pick something up at the store (which she is already at) and she tells me I have a car and to buy it myself whether it be food or goddamn batteries.
Going to CCM was the worst decision I could have possibly made and I hate myself for it. I thought being home would be fine and whatever, I mean I thought I didn't mind my family but now I'm crying every other night and ripping my hair out the rest of the time. I seriously can't do anything right around here and I wish I had half a brain to go to a real college where I didn't have to work every day of my life and could actually go out enjoy the rest of my teenage years.
My friends would always say college would be the best four years of their lives. I would disagree and say it would always be high school. I was right. For my sake anyway, my friends were my life in high school. I didn't realize how much I depended on them and just needed them to be there until they were gone. I thought I'd see them a lot more than I do but I haven't seen some since August. So from going from eight super close friends to none breaks my heart, I mean I have Nik but then she's gone soon too. Then what. They're all having the times of their lives though, new friends, parties, actually being independent. I envy them.
If only I went to a different school and didn't live at home none of this shit would matter. I'd call my mom several times a week probably instead of doubting her every time she says "be careful" when I leave for work. I would have friends any wouldn't be bothered as much with friends from high school. That's why I try so goddamn hard and none of them realize it. I have no one. No one. And I'm just trying so hard to keep them in my life. To keep something constant. But they don't care. I don't blame them. As my mom said a few months ago "they have new friends, jod, get over it. Taylor's not friends with anyone she knew in high school anymore. They moved on." Perfect. That was exactly the right thing to say to me. Really.
I've been super down lately and just need winter break to hurry it's ass up because I need something more. The person I see most right now is Julio...I'm not okay with that.
My favorite YouTube collab channel is ending and that's what kind of started this "what the fuck happened to me" phase. I said on the thread that I have nothing to look foward to now. And than I thought that's fucking sad. My life consists of YouTube. Don't get me wrong I clealy love YouTube and I like to think I have a secret internet life sometimes...but I don't. Yeah I blog now and I have a Twitter, Facebook, YouTube account and a nerdfighter ning and am seriously considering dailybooth-ing. But I do it because of my lack of dare I say it, IRL friends (internet speak). I actually chat with people on my ning and I got my first YouTube subscriber (I only post videos from shows...for now...ew nevermind for always) but never will I do anything with it like I really want to.
Shit my blogs suck. Sorry.
SUMMARY: I fucking hate the point of my life that I am at. I work constantly, have zero friends and my family does nothing but bitch at me. And my nails aren't painted. And my house isn't Christmas-y yet. And I haven't registered for classes yet (as if I care). And I may want to switch majors. And I'm so poor and have so many things I need to buy. And I'm failing my Psych class. And I'll be amazed if I spelled Psych right because I never do and am too lazy to look it up. Sums of my life.
I'm not gonna even tell you how awesome Wrockfest and Fun. was because this mess outweighs it.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
angst.angst.angst.
Friday, November 19, 2010
One of the best days of my life
was yesterday. actually today I guess. You probably don't care but HERE is how it went.
Yesterday morning I was at TCNJ (the college of two best friends) because two of my favorite wizard rockers were there (Matt of the Whomping Willows and Lauren of the Moaning Myrtles). I was crazy excited. Me and Nik went to the student center, sat in some nice seats and waited for them to arrive. Ha once they got there I totally geeked out of course and Lauren gave me the cutest little wave (I was wearing one of her band shirts) and then played her set. It was great and I don't care if no one else thought so or was even listening to her but I loved it and sang along anyway. Then Matt came on and he says "Hey I know you" to me. Wow. WOOOOWWW. So then he coerced me and Nik to stand up close and wrock out. He called out out saying we were experienced wrockers and would show them how it's done. :D His set was great and of course no one else knew what the hell was going on but I loved every second of it. Right after he was done he jumped off stage and came over to talk to us. Super nice of course. They signed my picture I got with them in Cape May and we took some new ones. We told them we'd see them on Sunday (which is of course WROCKFEST!) and you could tell they were genuinely happy we were there. <3
Immediately after TCNJ me and Nik went straight to AMC for the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. This was at 2:30 mind you. Yep. Waited nine and a half hours in the freezing (yes freezing) cold for my true love. And would do it all over again too.
This movie was fantastic. I loved it. This is definitely my favorite Harry Potter film (which in turn makes it my favorite film ever) of all time. I felt is was almost a perfect adaptation of the book. I cried before it even began, knowing that this was it scared me. It truely is the beginning of the end. For something that has been my whole life realizing it actually does end is so frightening and mind boggling to say the least.
Just before it started I started to cry. This is my life. There's only one more premiere to go. One more event to really connect with the fandom. One more new Harry. Only one more.
It really hit me as I watched Emma Watson on Letterman the other night. I when I say hit me it was a fucking shit ton of bricks. Right after Emma sat down he showed a split screen of her at the London Deathly Hallows premiere and at The Sorcerer's Stone premiere at age 11. I started sobbing. I couldn't control myself. Soon it will all be gone. Here today...gone tomorrow. But really it will never leave from my life. Honestly if you know me at all you could have deciphered that already. I'm most looking foward to making (yes MAKING) my kids read the series. We will be a Harry family, you can count on it.
(not exactly it but you get the jist)
SPOILER ALERT! (jumps around but this is just how my brain is remembering it)
Loved the scene where Hermione and Harry danced. Totally needed that at that moment and it was super cute. Not in the book but it was a wonderful addition.
So upset they didn't show Luna's bedroom. Ugh. That was one of my favorite parts of the book and I was so excited to see it. I was hanging on right until the Lovegood house fell to see it but it never came :(
Not enough of the Order but I'll take what I can get.
Ginny...awkward...She asks Harry to zip her dress. It was just a mess.
The wedding was cute. I'm glad we finally got to meet Bill.
Moody :(
DOBBY. My baby. The whole theater went nuts when he first came on screen, it was incredible. He's so brave and also adds for comic relief that was needed. I wanted to crack up when he was on the chandelier but I knew what was coming so I couldn't. Dobby's death. Oh man. Clearly I was already crying because Hermione was just being tortured but this definitely brought more tears. I cried way more in the book but it was so emotional to see it on screen.
LOVED the seven potters scene. Perfect.
They did George's ear loss perfectly too.
Hedwig! Hedwig. She's always been there for Harry and I kind of felt her death was a bit overlooked. But it was nice that she died trying to protect Harry rather than in a cage like the book.
The scene at the Ministry of Magic was sooo well done. The actor's who played the Trio playing the Minstry workers (got that?) were perfect. The awkward Harry movements were perfect. Ron worrying about his "wife" killed me, I believe he does that in the book too.
Also upset one of my favorite lines was screwed up :/ Ron returns using the deluminator and he says "I guess Dumbledore always knew I'd leave" and Harry says something like "No, he always knew you'd come back". Instead Ron just said it in a jumble of words.
The Three Brothers Scene. Completely different from anything else. I wasn't too sure about it when I saw it but now thinking about it I think I liked it. It depicted the story very well.
DRACO was awesome. You can clearly see that he was indifferent about the situation he was in. He was disturbed that one of the teachers from Hogwarts was killed right in front of his face and he didn't give Harry away to Bellatrix when he obviously knew it was him. I secretly love Draco, his character is amazing and so troubled.
Loved Hermione and Ron's relationship. True love.
The scence where Ron destroys the locket was crazzzzyy. They portrayed that so well and the silver doe scene leading up to it.
Hmm I guess that's it? I'm seeing it again tomorrow so I may add more. JULY 15 HURRY UP PLEASE. But don't :/
Yesterday morning I was at TCNJ (the college of two best friends) because two of my favorite wizard rockers were there (Matt of the Whomping Willows and Lauren of the Moaning Myrtles). I was crazy excited. Me and Nik went to the student center, sat in some nice seats and waited for them to arrive. Ha once they got there I totally geeked out of course and Lauren gave me the cutest little wave (I was wearing one of her band shirts) and then played her set. It was great and I don't care if no one else thought so or was even listening to her but I loved it and sang along anyway. Then Matt came on and he says "Hey I know you" to me. Wow. WOOOOWWW. So then he coerced me and Nik to stand up close and wrock out. He called out out saying we were experienced wrockers and would show them how it's done. :D His set was great and of course no one else knew what the hell was going on but I loved every second of it. Right after he was done he jumped off stage and came over to talk to us. Super nice of course. They signed my picture I got with them in Cape May and we took some new ones. We told them we'd see them on Sunday (which is of course WROCKFEST!) and you could tell they were genuinely happy we were there. <3
Immediately after TCNJ me and Nik went straight to AMC for the midnight release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. This was at 2:30 mind you. Yep. Waited nine and a half hours in the freezing (yes freezing) cold for my true love. And would do it all over again too.
This movie was fantastic. I loved it. This is definitely my favorite Harry Potter film (which in turn makes it my favorite film ever) of all time. I felt is was almost a perfect adaptation of the book. I cried before it even began, knowing that this was it scared me. It truely is the beginning of the end. For something that has been my whole life realizing it actually does end is so frightening and mind boggling to say the least.
Just before it started I started to cry. This is my life. There's only one more premiere to go. One more event to really connect with the fandom. One more new Harry. Only one more.
It really hit me as I watched Emma Watson on Letterman the other night. I when I say hit me it was a fucking shit ton of bricks. Right after Emma sat down he showed a split screen of her at the London Deathly Hallows premiere and at The Sorcerer's Stone premiere at age 11. I started sobbing. I couldn't control myself. Soon it will all be gone. Here today...gone tomorrow. But really it will never leave from my life. Honestly if you know me at all you could have deciphered that already. I'm most looking foward to making (yes MAKING) my kids read the series. We will be a Harry family, you can count on it.
SPOILER ALERT! (jumps around but this is just how my brain is remembering it)
Loved the scene where Hermione and Harry danced. Totally needed that at that moment and it was super cute. Not in the book but it was a wonderful addition.
So upset they didn't show Luna's bedroom. Ugh. That was one of my favorite parts of the book and I was so excited to see it. I was hanging on right until the Lovegood house fell to see it but it never came :(
Not enough of the Order but I'll take what I can get.
Ginny...awkward...She asks Harry to zip her dress. It was just a mess.
The wedding was cute. I'm glad we finally got to meet Bill.
Moody :(
DOBBY. My baby. The whole theater went nuts when he first came on screen, it was incredible. He's so brave and also adds for comic relief that was needed. I wanted to crack up when he was on the chandelier but I knew what was coming so I couldn't. Dobby's death. Oh man. Clearly I was already crying because Hermione was just being tortured but this definitely brought more tears. I cried way more in the book but it was so emotional to see it on screen.
LOVED the seven potters scene. Perfect.
They did George's ear loss perfectly too.
Hedwig! Hedwig. She's always been there for Harry and I kind of felt her death was a bit overlooked. But it was nice that she died trying to protect Harry rather than in a cage like the book.
The scene at the Ministry of Magic was sooo well done. The actor's who played the Trio playing the Minstry workers (got that?) were perfect. The awkward Harry movements were perfect. Ron worrying about his "wife" killed me, I believe he does that in the book too.
Also upset one of my favorite lines was screwed up :/ Ron returns using the deluminator and he says "I guess Dumbledore always knew I'd leave" and Harry says something like "No, he always knew you'd come back". Instead Ron just said it in a jumble of words.
The Three Brothers Scene. Completely different from anything else. I wasn't too sure about it when I saw it but now thinking about it I think I liked it. It depicted the story very well.
DRACO was awesome. You can clearly see that he was indifferent about the situation he was in. He was disturbed that one of the teachers from Hogwarts was killed right in front of his face and he didn't give Harry away to Bellatrix when he obviously knew it was him. I secretly love Draco, his character is amazing and so troubled.
Loved Hermione and Ron's relationship. True love.
The scence where Ron destroys the locket was crazzzzyy. They portrayed that so well and the silver doe scene leading up to it.
Hmm I guess that's it? I'm seeing it again tomorrow so I may add more. JULY 15 HURRY UP PLEASE. But don't :/
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Holy Crap.
I am in the process of mentally prepare for what is most likely going to be one of the best weekends of my life. Heck yes.
As I'm sure you all know this time of year is the highlight of my life. Yep it is a little thing I like to call "Harry Potter Season". Before a new movie is about to premiere there is tons of HP hype and events and ugh everything I've ever dreamt of. This includes all of the fantastic merch, yes I'm talking to you new Harry Potter pajama pants currently on my legs that make me happy every time I pull the covers off and forget I have them......
ANYWAY back to this awesome week coming up. Monday through Wednesday not so fun. Working of course. BUT on Wednesday night after work me and Nik will be going to TCNJ. Why go to TCNJ on the eve of the Harry Potter premiere? Well two of my favorite Wrock bands are performing there! WHAT!? I died when I found out. Honestly...ask Katie. So yeah the Whomping Willows and the Moaning Myrtles. They are the ones pictured in like y third or second post. Loveee them and intend on making a complete fool of myself.
After the concert (on Thursday mind you) me and Nik are gonna race home to the theaters for the premiere and hopefully get there by four, which is an hour later than originally planned :/ but I think it'll be worth it. AND THEN THE MOVIE. The moment we've all been waiting for. ohmygosh. I can't handle it, tears will surely be shed. It's the beginning of the end.
So that's my awesome week. JOKES. Doesn't end there suckkkas. So Friday I have off so me and Nik will go to lunch fo' free at Red Robin. Lol that's just an added bonus to the week, not necessarily needed but it works. Then work on Saturday then my sister's birthday. THENNNN.....are you ready?....No but really....SUNDAY IS WROCKFEST! Wrockfest is in Brooklyn and a whole bunch of wizard rock bands are performing and I won tickets! Wowowowow. I obviously would go anyway but hey saved me twenty bucks that I can now buy on merch! Eeeek. So excited. This is going to be the best week ever.
As I'm sure you all know this time of year is the highlight of my life. Yep it is a little thing I like to call "Harry Potter Season". Before a new movie is about to premiere there is tons of HP hype and events and ugh everything I've ever dreamt of. This includes all of the fantastic merch, yes I'm talking to you new Harry Potter pajama pants currently on my legs that make me happy every time I pull the covers off and forget I have them......
ANYWAY back to this awesome week coming up. Monday through Wednesday not so fun. Working of course. BUT on Wednesday night after work me and Nik will be going to TCNJ. Why go to TCNJ on the eve of the Harry Potter premiere? Well two of my favorite Wrock bands are performing there! WHAT!? I died when I found out. Honestly...ask Katie. So yeah the Whomping Willows and the Moaning Myrtles. They are the ones pictured in like y third or second post. Loveee them and intend on making a complete fool of myself.
After the concert (on Thursday mind you) me and Nik are gonna race home to the theaters for the premiere and hopefully get there by four, which is an hour later than originally planned :/ but I think it'll be worth it. AND THEN THE MOVIE. The moment we've all been waiting for. ohmygosh. I can't handle it, tears will surely be shed. It's the beginning of the end.
So that's my awesome week. JOKES. Doesn't end there suckkkas. So Friday I have off so me and Nik will go to lunch fo' free at Red Robin. Lol that's just an added bonus to the week, not necessarily needed but it works. Then work on Saturday then my sister's birthday. THENNNN.....are you ready?....No but really....SUNDAY IS WROCKFEST! Wrockfest is in Brooklyn and a whole bunch of wizard rock bands are performing and I won tickets! Wowowowow. I obviously would go anyway but hey saved me twenty bucks that I can now buy on merch! Eeeek. So excited. This is going to be the best week ever.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
PROcrastinator.
Instead of starting my awesome homwork that's been piling up I've decided to bum out on my two days off of work and watch some movies.
Yesterday I watched three movies. Which is quite unusual for me, but I've been watching movies more and more lately. What were the three movies you ask? Oh...you didn't ask? Too bad.
First I watched Letters to Juliet. Now it's actually not that great of a movie but I'm a sucker for love stories and Amanda Seyfried. She's amazing. Anyway (spoiler alert) girl is engaged to a rude italian man who never listens blahblahblah. Clearly it's not going to work out between them. Clearly. So they go to Italy (for a business trip) and they both do there separate things. Long story short she falls in love with a gorgeous British guy while they search for his grandmother's long lost love. They don't tell there true feelings, she goes home, goes back for a wedding BUT WAIT. He is back with his love Penelope from forever ago...only there's two Penelopes and the one at the wedding is really his cousin not his ex. -___________- That really pissed me off. Two Penelopes. Ugh. Lame.
From there I watched Toy Story 3. Pixar really outdid themselves with this one. The first time I watched this was in theaters with Mary and Nik on.....dundundun GRADUATION DAY. Now if you've ever seen this movie you could just predict what happened to us.. best friends + Toy Story 3 + graduation day = MAJOR CRYFEST. MAJOR. Anyway it's a fantastic movie and everyone should watch it. It brings back amazing childhood memories and has the best message about friendship. So even after watching it the second time a bawled my eyes out. My younger sister said she had "tears in her eyes" but didn't cry. I'll make her watch it after she graduates...she'll cry..just wait.
Right now I'm watching The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. The first time I watched this was with my sisters. We are kind of Holocaust movie junkies. One night we had a whole marathon. I miss those days. This movie is terribly sad but I love it. Again FRIENDSHIP. Wow sentimental here.
I wish movies were like real life...(well not the last one..).
THE WEAPON WE HAVE IS LOVE.
Yesterday I watched three movies. Which is quite unusual for me, but I've been watching movies more and more lately. What were the three movies you ask? Oh...you didn't ask? Too bad.
First I watched Letters to Juliet. Now it's actually not that great of a movie but I'm a sucker for love stories and Amanda Seyfried. She's amazing. Anyway (spoiler alert) girl is engaged to a rude italian man who never listens blahblahblah. Clearly it's not going to work out between them. Clearly. So they go to Italy (for a business trip) and they both do there separate things. Long story short she falls in love with a gorgeous British guy while they search for his grandmother's long lost love. They don't tell there true feelings, she goes home, goes back for a wedding BUT WAIT. He is back with his love Penelope from forever ago...only there's two Penelopes and the one at the wedding is really his cousin not his ex. -___________- That really pissed me off. Two Penelopes. Ugh. Lame.
From there I watched Toy Story 3. Pixar really outdid themselves with this one. The first time I watched this was in theaters with Mary and Nik on.....dundundun GRADUATION DAY. Now if you've ever seen this movie you could just predict what happened to us.. best friends + Toy Story 3 + graduation day = MAJOR CRYFEST. MAJOR. Anyway it's a fantastic movie and everyone should watch it. It brings back amazing childhood memories and has the best message about friendship. So even after watching it the second time a bawled my eyes out. My younger sister said she had "tears in her eyes" but didn't cry. I'll make her watch it after she graduates...she'll cry..just wait.
Then I re-watched one of my favorite movies. Whip It. I freaking love this move. If I'm not including Harry Potter it's definitely top five. It's so empowering and kick ass that I wish I did roller derby. Hah I was actually asked to join a while ago after leaving Hot Topic. I wish I did it...if only I could skate...maybe lol. Ellen Page is the best in anything she does. She's so talented and I'd probably watch anything she's in. This movie is about passion and doing whatever the fuck you want. I wish I was like that. Getting away from the norm would be nice. Like Toy Story teamwork is also a major theme. (lol theme? I'm not writing a paper here...) And I LOVE that. It reminds me of how I can always rely on my friends for anything.
I feel like I watched another movie but I honestly can't remember.Right now I'm watching The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. The first time I watched this was with my sisters. We are kind of Holocaust movie junkies. One night we had a whole marathon. I miss those days. This movie is terribly sad but I love it. Again FRIENDSHIP. Wow sentimental here.
I wish movies were like real life...(well not the last one..).
THE WEAPON WE HAVE IS LOVE.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
THREAD.
The thread is composed of twelve of us and it's a facebook message (thread) thats been going on since Febuary 8th, 2009 when me and Matt wanted to have a nice movie get together. That included the 10 original people. However some people never wrote on the thread and some weren't included for the movie gathering. So on June 13th, 2009 a new thread was created to "get rid of all the other losers that are on our original thread. this is to discuss about prom weekend for all those who are/should be coming with us". LOL and then there were eight...
We talked on that thing everyday. It made me so happy to see the little red number one by my inbox. The eight of us have so many whack ass memories from that thing and it all started from a party invitation. I can honestly say they are my best friends. I have seven best friends. But it sure as hell didn't stop there.
Prom weekend came and went and was literally the best time of my life, and I like to believe everyone else's too. The whole original Thread (the eight of us after the ten is the original) didn't come because some were just doing their own thing and there were non-thread members in the house but it was fucking awesome. We all became so much closer from that exteneded weekend. We have the craziest memories from that weekend, and essentially four new members. (now it sounds like a damn cult ha). So on August 23rd, 2010 before everyone went their separate ways, we made a new thread. The eight of us that were there the longest plus the four new loves from prom weekend.
Sooo that's the history of the Thread and we haven't all been together for several months now. Last night was epic though. Seven of the twelve of us were all in the same room. It was wild. I've been going through major thread withdrawls and it was a much needed reunion....however in 19 days we are prepared to fuck shit up. And HOPEFULLY by some grace of god we will all be with each other once again. <3 Thank you guys for being my best friends.
p.s. I caught my first shoplifter todayyy!
We talked on that thing everyday. It made me so happy to see the little red number one by my inbox. The eight of us have so many whack ass memories from that thing and it all started from a party invitation. I can honestly say they are my best friends. I have seven best friends. But it sure as hell didn't stop there.
Prom weekend came and went and was literally the best time of my life, and I like to believe everyone else's too. The whole original Thread (the eight of us after the ten is the original) didn't come because some were just doing their own thing and there were non-thread members in the house but it was fucking awesome. We all became so much closer from that exteneded weekend. We have the craziest memories from that weekend, and essentially four new members. (now it sounds like a damn cult ha). So on August 23rd, 2010 before everyone went their separate ways, we made a new thread. The eight of us that were there the longest plus the four new loves from prom weekend.
Sooo that's the history of the Thread and we haven't all been together for several months now. Last night was epic though. Seven of the twelve of us were all in the same room. It was wild. I've been going through major thread withdrawls and it was a much needed reunion....however in 19 days we are prepared to fuck shit up. And HOPEFULLY by some grace of god we will all be with each other once again. <3 Thank you guys for being my best friends.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here.
-dumbledore
So last week I saw Matt and Kim perform at Webster Hall in the city. It. Was. Amazing. Literally the best show I've been to. (I haven't been to many but still..) I saw Matt and Kim at Bamboozle last year and have listened to some of their stuff before that and fell in love. I touched Kim at that show. My mom says that's creepy but I had to outdo it this year of course. After finally getting to Webster Hall (three hours later mind you -___-) with some random kids that met up with us we were ready to fucking rock. We bought are swell tshirts and made our way to the center of the floor. Watched the opening act and then..had our minds blown (the our is me and Nikki since I was unclear). Matt and Kim were fucking awesome. More than that. So eventually I make my way up to the front. Yep the front. Anyway I'm sure I'm boring you but this is for me anyway so whateva. Welllll I touched both Matt and Kim SEVERAL times. Nikki even got a picture with Matt and overall it was just an awesome, awesome experience.
On the way home me and Nik were just talking about how much we love shows. Everyone is all together for the same reason. Loving the same thing, singing to the same song. It just blows my mind. Like when Matt and Kim played their last song, Daylight, the crowd went ape shit. ape. shit. And it was fucking sick. This kid next to just sang a random lyric to me and I sang the next one back. We had no idea who each other were but we had the same purpose and that's all that mattered.
In other Matt and Kim news I just bought their new album Sidewalks the other day and have been lovinnnnnng all over it since. They have once again outdone themselves.
ALSO tomorrow, well tonight actually (wowww!) me, Mary, Nik and Katie are going to see Say Anything. It's going to be buuuuckwild. Especially with them. Love those girls.
Hopefully later this month I get to see Fun. too. That would make my life.
OH. While on the topic of music I'm going to the NYC Wrockfest on November 21st. Which I'm sooo geeking out over. I won tickets through a twitter contest, even though I would go anyway, and cannot wait to go. Wrock is Harry Potter music. Wrock is my shit. I listen to it more than "normal" music. I've only been to one Wrock show and there were only like 18 people there...including the Wrockers but it totally made my live. Here's a picture of me and Nik with the Whomping Willows (Matt) and the Moaning Myrtles (Lauren). :D
So last week I saw Matt and Kim perform at Webster Hall in the city. It. Was. Amazing. Literally the best show I've been to. (I haven't been to many but still..) I saw Matt and Kim at Bamboozle last year and have listened to some of their stuff before that and fell in love. I touched Kim at that show. My mom says that's creepy but I had to outdo it this year of course. After finally getting to Webster Hall (three hours later mind you -___-) with some random kids that met up with us we were ready to fucking rock. We bought are swell tshirts and made our way to the center of the floor. Watched the opening act and then..had our minds blown (the our is me and Nikki since I was unclear). Matt and Kim were fucking awesome. More than that. So eventually I make my way up to the front. Yep the front. Anyway I'm sure I'm boring you but this is for me anyway so whateva. Welllll I touched both Matt and Kim SEVERAL times. Nikki even got a picture with Matt and overall it was just an awesome, awesome experience.
On the way home me and Nik were just talking about how much we love shows. Everyone is all together for the same reason. Loving the same thing, singing to the same song. It just blows my mind. Like when Matt and Kim played their last song, Daylight, the crowd went ape shit. ape. shit. And it was fucking sick. This kid next to just sang a random lyric to me and I sang the next one back. We had no idea who each other were but we had the same purpose and that's all that mattered.
In other Matt and Kim news I just bought their new album Sidewalks the other day and have been lovinnnnnng all over it since. They have once again outdone themselves.
ALSO tomorrow, well tonight actually (wowww!) me, Mary, Nik and Katie are going to see Say Anything. It's going to be buuuuckwild. Especially with them. Love those girls.
Hopefully later this month I get to see Fun. too. That would make my life.
OH. While on the topic of music I'm going to the NYC Wrockfest on November 21st. Which I'm sooo geeking out over. I won tickets through a twitter contest, even though I would go anyway, and cannot wait to go. Wrock is Harry Potter music. Wrock is my shit. I listen to it more than "normal" music. I've only been to one Wrock show and there were only like 18 people there...including the Wrockers but it totally made my live. Here's a picture of me and Nik with the Whomping Willows (Matt) and the Moaning Myrtles (Lauren). :D
Good Ol' High School.
So I was really unsure about what to name this blog. Of course the first titles that came to mind were way too cliche for my liking so I scrolled through my iTunes for some inspiration. I stumbled upon a few and all I thought was "meh". Then I knew I found what I was looking for. Something that totally sums up my life at the moment, Here Today...Gone Tomorrow. Now I have the version by Rooney but it's originally by the Ramones. Either way I love it.
Oppurtunites generally come once and then they're gone. Poof. I regret so many things in my life. So many. I wish I told my teachers (well some anyway) how much they meant to me, I wish I talked to you just a little more, I wish I had the fucking guts to talk to you. I miss security and routine. I never really though High School would actually end. Naiive right? I wish I could wake up at 6:20 again and go to Mrs. Maxwell's first period class and talk with my best friends until the bell rang telling me to go to Soc. Damn I miss that bell. Here Today...Gone Tomorrow.
Everything's different. I miss my friends goddamnit! I miss electives, I miss crappy school lunches, I MISS THE FUCKING HALLELUJAH CHROUS! Ugh. I was prowling around the High School the other day before a field hockey game and I just wanted to shake all those kids and say "Stop complaing about school! You don't realize how great you have it! Savor ever damn second of it." Savor every damn second. I wish I could go back to the first day of freshman year and savor it. Savor all of it. The bomb scares haha, the countless field hockey practices and pasta parties, seeing friends in the hall everyday, hall monitors lol yep I miss the hall monitors, pep ralleys, morning announcments, child devolpment kids, and everthing else. Literally.
I kind of feel like I miss it so much because I go to CCM. I guess I need to experience new things in order to forget about the old. Well I'm off to class...
Here Today...Gone Tomorrow.
Don't miss your chance.
Oppurtunites generally come once and then they're gone. Poof. I regret so many things in my life. So many. I wish I told my teachers (well some anyway) how much they meant to me, I wish I talked to you just a little more, I wish I had the fucking guts to talk to you. I miss security and routine. I never really though High School would actually end. Naiive right? I wish I could wake up at 6:20 again and go to Mrs. Maxwell's first period class and talk with my best friends until the bell rang telling me to go to Soc. Damn I miss that bell. Here Today...Gone Tomorrow.
Everything's different. I miss my friends goddamnit! I miss electives, I miss crappy school lunches, I MISS THE FUCKING HALLELUJAH CHROUS! Ugh. I was prowling around the High School the other day before a field hockey game and I just wanted to shake all those kids and say "Stop complaing about school! You don't realize how great you have it! Savor ever damn second of it." Savor every damn second. I wish I could go back to the first day of freshman year and savor it. Savor all of it. The bomb scares haha, the countless field hockey practices and pasta parties, seeing friends in the hall everyday, hall monitors lol yep I miss the hall monitors, pep ralleys, morning announcments, child devolpment kids, and everthing else. Literally.
I kind of feel like I miss it so much because I go to CCM. I guess I need to experience new things in order to forget about the old. Well I'm off to class...
Here Today...Gone Tomorrow.
Don't miss your chance.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Not by any means a writer...
just always need to get things off my mind. Yep so I'm blogging. I've always wanted to blog. Actually vlog but since I hate video cameras this was the alternative. First things first, I do not write, I do not use proper grammatics and whatever. Judge me. But please don't :)
This blog is for me. Not for anyone but myself. I will not post it anywhere or publicise it in anyway or so I say now. Anyway I don't really want people to read it, well I do but it's weird I've never done anything like this before. It's like an over done facebook status...
My inspiration? Well since it's National Novel Writing Month (better known as NaNoWriMo) I wanted to contribute in some way and since there is no way in hell I could write 50,000 words this month I decided to blog and will hopefully keep it up! I'm also a blog stalker. Not a stalker really, I just like to see what people come up with, whether I know them or not. I'm nosy what can I say?
Getting on with it. This is me. I'm 19 (which in my opinion is way too old, what the hell happened to childhood?) I go to County College of Morris...and hate it. I will probably regret this decision my whole life but that's for another blog I'm sure. I call Lake Hopatcong home but in reality I'm sure I spend more time at work. I've been working at my current job since Febuary and has since taken over my "life". I have an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter. No...but really. Hmmm...my friends mean the world to me and I feel like everyone says that but I truly mean it. I think I try too hard sometimes though...damn you CCM for giving me no friends. I guess that's it. My life is totally unplanned and I'm definitely not ready for it..
This blog is for me. Not for anyone but myself. I will not post it anywhere or publicise it in anyway or so I say now. Anyway I don't really want people to read it, well I do but it's weird I've never done anything like this before. It's like an over done facebook status...
My inspiration? Well since it's National Novel Writing Month (better known as NaNoWriMo) I wanted to contribute in some way and since there is no way in hell I could write 50,000 words this month I decided to blog and will hopefully keep it up! I'm also a blog stalker. Not a stalker really, I just like to see what people come up with, whether I know them or not. I'm nosy what can I say?
Getting on with it. This is me. I'm 19 (which in my opinion is way too old, what the hell happened to childhood?) I go to County College of Morris...and hate it. I will probably regret this decision my whole life but that's for another blog I'm sure. I call Lake Hopatcong home but in reality I'm sure I spend more time at work. I've been working at my current job since Febuary and has since taken over my "life". I have an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter. No...but really. Hmmm...my friends mean the world to me and I feel like everyone says that but I truly mean it. I think I try too hard sometimes though...damn you CCM for giving me no friends. I guess that's it. My life is totally unplanned and I'm definitely not ready for it..
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